Do you believe in love at first sight? Me neither. Until recently, I didn’t even believe in the kind of love that we see in movies, where people don’t have the ability to be happy without the one they love. Pish posh!
I’ve been divorced for 11 years now. I dated here and there, but was never very focused or aggressive about finding someone. I briefly tried a dating website and did make a good friend from there, but I already had friends and going on that site wasn’t for the reason of making more.
I was fine though. Really! I was fine, even though my family was worried. My parents sensed that I wasn’t interested in having anyone in my life anymore. I’d been married for 10 years. It didn’t work out…boo hoo….life goes on…blah blah blah. I did have friends who dated a lot more, but they didn’t seem happier. No one was finding love.
My feeling was that there was plenty of time for that later. I had two girls to focus on. Their company made me happy and hopefully my attention was making up for the fact that they were now from a broken home. Ah, there goes the divorce guilt. It’s something that is ever-present. With any little problem or sad moment one of the girls had, I wondered if the divorce was ever-present for them too. I knew that it was silly for me to feel that way, but it didn’t matter. I still did, even though my divorce situation was amicable and my girls weren’t dealing with the nastiness that can sometimes be associated with divorce.
I plugged along, working, raising my girls and enjoying my friendships. Aside from the guilt, I was happy. I had the feeling that someone would come into my life someday, when it was supposed to happen. It would be something divine, meant to be…something that couldn’t be forced. I’m happy to say that I was right. Wait, I’m more than happy…I’m delirious!
Four years ago, that friend that I’d met on the dating site, invited me to a holiday party at his house. I hemmed and hawed about going as I’d put on some weight and had also just gotten a ridiculous haircut. I just wasn’t feeling very attractive and therefore, not very social. Boy am I glad I didn’t listen to myself. Sometimes a girl has to get out of her own way. Love that expression.
A friend said she’d meet me at his house for the party. When I walked in, wearing pants that were so tight because of the weight gain that I had to leave them undone at the top, she was already talking to a very handsome man. I had been told that there would be some singles at the party and I wondered if tall, dark and handsome was one of them. But wait…he was already talking to my friend. hmmm….. Maybe there was already a connection between them.
I said hello to the host of the party and his girlfriend and made my way over to see my friend, who was by then talking to another woman whom she had brought to the party as well. We chatted for a bit and I noticed that “he” was talking to someone behind me. I heard his deep voice….like a movie star’s deep voice. hummunna hummanna hummanna….My knees were weak.
I can’t remember how it happened, but eventually the three of us started chatting. Fortunately, there didn’t seem to be any flirtation between him and my friend and I ended up talking to him while she made her way around the room. The conversation was easy and funny and comfortable. He was even better looking close up and then WHOA, he spoke Italian! Oh man….sexy deep voice and he speaks Italian? I was melting.
I’m ashamed to say, (not really), that we acted like a couple of kids that night, flirting, laughing, totally ignoring everyone else in the room. I didn’t even notice when my friend left the party. Some friend, huh? Eventually it was time for me to leave. I’d had a great time, but didn’t really know if I’d see him again. I said my goodbyes and walked out the door. Within 5 seconds Italian man with the deep, sexy voice came bounding out, looking so darn cute, and mumbling something about wanting my phone number. Thank goodness!!!
That was 4 years ago. This relationship has been an incredibly enjoyable journey. My belief in true love has been restored. It was only a couple of months before we told each other that we loved each other and the relationship has blossomed into a deep, trusting, caring, passionate love like I’ve never known or though that I could feel. I can’t think about him without smiling and my heart still flutters when he walks in the door. This man makes me feel like writing poetry, and I’m no poet. Trust me on that one.
We’re engaged to be married now. I finally feel like seeing The Notebook or any number of other mushy movies which I’ve been avoiding for so many years, for fear of crying not because of the beautiful love story touching my soul, but for the fear of never being loved like that. Now I am loved like that and I love him like that and I’m the luckiest woman on Earth!
The Luckiest Woman on Earth